simplyapril replied to your post: So here I am Honey … don’t be so depressed, you can transfer or call BP U and ask for more money and an extention ms. Tejeda said she wil pretend to be anyone parent to help.Even if your stuck at a cuny you can transfer.trust me where all settling
I think I will talk to Ms. Tejeda. But it’s like I worked my ass off for nothing. I went to summer school to get my fucking advanced regents diploma for nothing. I did everything on time this year. I was the one of the first with my shit done, for what to get shitted on at the end. I don’t want to sound like a little kid but this just isn’t fair. None of it is fair.
I haven’t been so disappointed in myself for the longest. But right now I just can’t even look at myself.
May 1 is on Saturday and I haven’t picked my school yet. I don’t know where I am going, I don’t know what I am going to do. I don’t know how to do anything anymore. The thing is I really want to go to the University of Bridgeport. They accepted me and everything, I remember that day I was so happy I hugged my doorman I cried and everything was perfect and I was set in stone that I was going there. But then I got my finical aid package from them. It was horrible. I can’t go there, I don’t have the money, I can’t make it there. And it breaks my fucking heart.
So whatever I moved away from the idea of Bridgeport but it is eating away at me. Now my best friend told me she is going to Bridgeport and some other girls too. And I can’t go. That was my dream school, it was my top choice, it just make me so mad and sad that I can’t fullfill my fucking dream because of money. I don’t know what to so. Ima end up going to some shitty ass school and hating every second of it. I hate myself for being fucking able to live. Colleges want you to be struggling to find your next meal to give you money. You have to be making like 10,000 for 3 people a year to be able to be considered for anything. For anything. You have to to be dying and you have to write some bullshit sob story. So while everyone is posting up I’m in ___________ Class of 2014. I am over here crying my eyes out because my future is looking dim. Not looking how I planned. Because planning is a waste a time. Nothing ever comes out right in the end.
And my college advisor is pissing me the fuck off. I’m just tired of it all. I just want to go to Bridgeport, not because everyone is going but because it’s MY DREAM.
Naw, fucker tried to bite my face off I just got fuckin’ chased off with a chainsaw Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin’ blades off Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong That mother fucker’s got nuts like King Kong Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin’ thing off Everything except his tank top and his training bra Ain’t he raw? Yeah, maniac that’s shady dog Man, that mother fucker’s gangsta, ain’t he dog? Shady, dog, what be goin’ through that fuckin’ brain of yours? Say no more, what the fuck you be waitin’ for? Sing along
And it seems like the media immediately Points a finger at me (finger at me).. So I point one back at ‘em, but not the index or pinkie Or the ring or the thumb, it’s the one you put up When you don’t give a fuck, when you won’t just put up With the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too
Music is like magic there’s a certain feeling you get when your real and you spit and people are feeling your shit. This is your moment and every single minute you spend trying to hold onto it cause you may never get it again.
Maybe it’s hatred I spew, maybe it’s food for the spirit Maybe it’s beautiful music I made for you to just cherish But I’m debated disputed hated and viewed in America as a motherfuckin drug addict - like you didn’t experiment? Now now, that’s when you start to stare at who’s in the mirror and see yourself as a kid again, and you get embarrased And I got nothin to do but make you look stupid as parents You fuckin do-gooders - too bad you couldn’t do good at marriage!
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus Heal this child, help us destroy these demons Oh, and please send me a brand new car And a prostitute while my wife’s sick in the hospital Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher You can’t reach me, my mom can’t neither You can’t teach me a goddamn thing cause I watch TV, and Comcast cable and you ain’t able to stop these thoughts You can’t stop me from topping these charts
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t but it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast C’mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that’s my girl dog!) I don’t give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!
I see that you see a lot of things. But what else can you see? Can you see us? Can you see me? What’s in my heart, it’s not that hard. Look Closely. What do you see? Because when I look in my heart I see you <3 - JMS